A couple of days ago, someone called me. Since we happen to be friends in Facebook his name showed on my screen so I didn’t bother asking who it was. Apparently we used to know each other and the last time we talked was about three years ago.  I tried to recall him but my memory failed me and since I was in no chatting mood I didn’t ask him where or how we meet and I just let the conversation flow which didn’t last long because his phone went off and I assumed he ran out out of airtime.( If you decide to call someone you haven’t talked to in three years at least have enough airtime.)
Later on when I signed online I found a whatsapp message from him saying it was nice to hear my voice. I checked his profile picture to see whether I could recall him but the picture did nothing to jog my memory .I am not big with chats and being online and most probably I have lost a couple of friends for my lack of chatting enthusiasm and like what I mostly do to my whatsapp messages, I ignored his message and moved on to twitter to find out what my fellow KOTs were up to . Couple of days later I had totally moved on and forgotten the whole thing.

Yesterday morning I woke up with all my feel good juices flowing. I said goodbye to my sister as she left to school and I was left pondering on what to with my day.( Haven’t signed up any acting contract yet this year yet so between my Karaoke gigs am having lots and lots of time in my hands.) First things first, to the kitchen for breakfast where I made pancakes that would feed my whole plot. After that went to chat with a guy I really like for a couple of minutes as I enjoyed my breakfast. Then decided to do laundry in the process I decided to do a whole general cleaning.(Feel good hormones are an awesome thing.) My sister came back from school and found me still cleaning and couple of minutes later my phone rung. I don’t have many callers so I rarely ignore phone calls no matter what am doing because it could be my mum and she doesn’t take it lightly when her calls are ” ignored “.

It wasn’t my mother and neither was it a number I had in my contact list . I picked up the call with my best voice ever( You never know, Steve Spielberg’s PA might be call you for an audition for an international movie to be shoot in Nairobi or somewhere in Zaire) and was totally disappointed when then voice on the other end ask who she was speaking to. Thanks to my feel good hormones I told the the caller as polite as I could that since she was the one who called me I should be the one asking who’s calling and not the other way. She said she was sorry, introduced her self and went on to explain that she wanted to know who I was since I have been in contact with her husband calling and chatting with him.

At this point my heart missed a beat and I was figuring out in head which male I have been in contact with this year and who amongst them could be married including the people I work with as I listened to her. Maybe it was a friend pulling a trick on me? Or maybe the guy I really like has a wife? Or maybe my ex’s wife … that’s a long story and he was not married when we used to date. One thing I was atleast 95% sure is that I was not messing around with any one’s hubby.

My mother warned me against it and I know that there are a lot of things my mother warned me against and I went ahead and did them but this one was a big NO. Mmmm I don’t do married guys! I remember when I was going to campus in Nyeri my mother told me that if I messed around with married men from Nyeri their wives would visit  the witch doctor and my vajayjay would be moved from between my legs to my forehead and that’s a sight I never wanted to imagine. Back to the phone conversation, I told the lady that she had the wrong number to which she insisted she had the right number she gave me her husband’s name and at first it didn’t click on my head and so I asked her what the chats we all about.  She mentioned something like good to hear your voice and that’s when it clicked to me. The guy from three years ago. And I could not believe that this woman saw one number from her husband’s call log and one whatsapp message from him to another lady that was never replied to and decided that that’s the lady who her husband was having an affair with. Thanks to my feel good hormones and my writer’s curiosity I kept listening to her explained that I didn’t even remember her husband that he was just someone I used to know three years ago. My sister who apparently was listening to my conversation started to sing ” haiya kapatikana” .

Finally the lady apologized, explained that she was pregnant and that her hubby has started having too many meetings and she was just trying to find out who he’s been spending his time with,poor lady, I can just imagine how that one message shuttered her hurt and how her already pregnant belly flip flopped and her heartbeats raced.

Ladies please there is something about a snoopy, insecure and jealous wife that turns of men and actually pushes some of them to cheat. Women buy yourselves some magazines and read about some of this stuff! My sister who is quite young commented that that lady is plain stupid and insecure and it’s women like her who find themselves abandoned even after bearing beautiful innocent babies.

Ladies instead of snooping around your hubby’s phones just because he seems to be spending less time with you, why don’t you just talk to them. Let them know what’s going on in you head. They aren’t mind readers to know what’s going on in there. Calling some girl whose number you got from call log will not help either.It might even put you into more trouble. I had to take a few minutes together with my sister to come up with a Pro and con list of letting this guy know about his wife calling me and since I didn’t want to cause trouble for a lady  I don’t know and some guy I don’t even remember I decided not to let him know.  So if his wife suspicions were correct, he is still probably fucking around.

Ladies talk to your men. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Even I know that and am the worst person when it comes to relationships. That girl you might be trying to reach and “handaa” might not even know of your existence.