Motherhood

I am a mother. I am a mother of three.I am a mother of two five year olds who enrolled to school last week. Haiya! When did all this happen? Where did the time go to? When I sent a picture to my mother of the kids in their uniforms her response was, “haiya níí ngúrire(I have aged).” And so have I. There are times I look at my kids and wonder whether they are mine. How the heck did I pull this one out. How did I push out two living things out of my Vagina in a span of one hour? How did I even manage the nine months they were in my womb?How?How did I go back there again in less than two years? “Linda, how did you?” How can I even be writing this and thinking of a forth one? Hehehe. I remember being pregnant with my second born being asked whether I will be diapering three babies. Someone asked me whether I had been given an order to deliver babies somewhere. Níí maa reke gwíre, after hot porridge you should fear people who do not know how to sensor their words. Those ones who feel the need to open their mouths and vomit words on you without a care of how their words are going to affect you. I repeat fear them after hot porridge. Anyway so my babies were excited to go to school for the first time and that excitement was fueled by new smarties ( school uniform) and backpacks. I was also excited that finally  my babies will have more stories to share with me other than I want to pupu, who is farting on who, who is fighting who, etcetera. The only one who was not excited about this school thing was my 3yr old because she didn’t get smarties and the rest of the school supplies like the twins and she gets to be left behind while the twins go to school. This baby who grew up so fast that I have to beg her for me to baby her. This one who already knows how to bang doors behind her when she is mad(someone is in deep trouble because the way I was raised we do not bang doors at our mothers.) This one who is the queen of silent treatment in our house. But she will also be joining them to school in a months time. Where did all the time go to? As I adjust to our new schedule time seems to be flying so fast I can’t seem to catch a break. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t spent enough time with my babies. Sometimes I get scared of a tomorrow I have no idea about. I came across an article online the other day that says time spent with your kids is not an important determinant on how good your kids will turn out in the future but I would like to believe part of who I am is because of all the time my mother spent with me and her parenting. So yes I want to spend as much time as I can with my kids before they grow out their own wings and fly away. Being a mother is one of my dreams come true. Having an amazing support system around me has made this journey easier and enjoyable. Sometimes I look at kids and wonder,are they really mine? Their innocent voices usually bring me back to reality ” mum mbona( why) are you looking me like that?” Yes they are mine. They look up to me. They run to me while they are hurt. They run to me while scared for comfort. They run to me simply for cuddles in the middle of the night. They are mine and I worry about their safety every second. I worry about them even when I am screaming my lungs out because of some naughtiness they are engaged in. I worry about them even if their a thousand and one questions times three push me on the wall. I worry because I am their mother. How I am doing it is by grace, by lov e and the knowledge that this is one of the most fulfilling thing I will ever do.