BAD WEEK

I have had a few rough couple of days last week. My emotions and mental well being have been through a roller costa. Some wounds have been reopened and I am working really hard to keep everything together and to not just crush. I am reminding myself that I have three tiny human who are dependent on me so crushing is not an option. Not if I can help it. The child inside me reminds me that we made it into adulthood and she is telling me we will make it through. How is it that in this life the people who are closest to you are the ones who end up hurting you the most? How is it that someone can be all nice and human to one person then turn around to the other and become a predator? A beast?

Have you ever wondered how some humans have the ability to look all nice and respectable on the outside and yet in the inside their mind and thoughts are completely rotten and smelly? What happens when their insides are revealed to the world? How are their loved ones supposed to deal with their rot?  This people who carry themselves with outmost respect in public and behind closed doors they become something else.

When their dark side comes out into the light how are we supposed to look them in the eye? Let me just say that I am at a point where I understand why sometimes people kill, why some commit suicide, why kids will leave home and never look back and why once a prosperous home would or might end up in ruins. Sometimes I wish I exist in the pre human rights era. An era where Excommunication, rolling beehive and burning banana leaves were a form of punishment because then we wouldn’t have to worry about visiting them rapist and murderers in jail. Rape survivors wouldn’t live in fear of coming across their tormentors on the street after just paying a fine of a mere goat.

Most of the times whatever happens in darkness one way or another finds itself in the light. And the nobility masks we wear might fall off and reveal the uglier phase of your personality. Pastors get busted exploiting their flocks, Businessmen get busted as crime bosses, village elders get busted as the village mafisi; all thee wives run and hide, perfect father gets busted as the village pedophile. How are we supposed to deal with this people after their perfect bubble busts and out flows the nasties? Think of Betty Bayo and Kanyari kind of situation or Mukhisa Kituyi dick video scenario, did his kids ever look at him the same way again? I know it’s written in the good old book to honour thy father and mother but what if they bring dishonuor and shame onto themselves and their loved ones, are we still supposed to honuor them and if so how?